January 2012
18 posts
Better than Flowers
Today—a gorgeous 63 degree, sunny day in Round Rock, Texas—I walked my girls to the park. On the way, London stopped to pick flowers. Where she’d stopped was close to the road, and I felt uncomfortable letting her stay.
I told her to come to me.
She ignored me.
I said, “London, come to me right now.”
She smiled, reached for another purple flower,...
“Forever is composed of nows.”
– Emily Dickinson
Saw this quote today and thought of Justin’s super-excellent lesson yesterday, Love that Lasts. For a love to last forever, it needs to act like love right now.
#1 I'm Done
In Samuel Richardson’s Pamela, a father counsels his frivolous daughter:
“Be sure you don’t let people’s telling you you are pretty puff you up; for you did not make yourself. It is virtue and goodness only that make true beauty.”
I’ve spent years chasing beauty, beauty of the worst sort. I’ve sought public praise and the affirmation of strangers....
#2 My husband learned stuff too
Today you get to hear from my favorite person about what he learned from this project. Justin Gerhardt, my husband of 11 years, had a front row seat for this thing, and, as someone who is not me, might provide us all with some valuable perspective.
May I introduce you? :)
So for the last year, my wife—my beautiful, clothes-horse of a wife, has worn the same 4 outfits.
Again and again.
...
#3 I Am What I Wear
Here’s the deal, whether or not we want to admit it, clothes both identify us and shape our identity.
First, they communicate who we are because we choose them. Even if we don’t choose them, if they’re gifts or hand-me-downs, we choose how best to arrange them. To a certain degree, our self is the sum total of our choices.
Your clothes, for better or worse, communicate to...
#4 Clothes Matter
It’s true that clothes matter. Similarly true that they don’t. I’ve learned both truths in great measure this year.
In addition to hands on experience, I’ve spent quite a lot of time these past several months scouring the Bible looking for references to clothes, trying to patch together some sort of theology of clothing, a cohesive way of seeing clothes like God sees...
#5 Clothes Don't Matter.
In honor of clothes not mattering I’ll skip waxing poetic on the thought.
Tomorrow’s Post: #4 Clothes Matter.
#6 A Small Wardrobe Takes Work
I’ve received a handful of questions about how I chose the clothes I wore this year and the clothes I’ll wear this next year (and how I intend to buy clothes in the future). Answer: deliberately.
When you intend to wear only a few outfits, and you like clothes, you really must love the outfits you pick. Otherwise, you will be fussy. I found this out within a week of beginning my...
nicole-2677 asked: What is the name of your book?
#7 I Don't Like Posting Pics of My Clothes
I’ve had several people ask recently for pictures of my outfits, either the ones I wore last year or the ones I have in the que for this next year. I totally get why you’d be curious (and I’m excited that you are), but I’m not going to do that. My reasons are two-fold:
1. I think true modesty involves downplaying the importance of what we’re wearing. I like the idea...
#8 Modesty Misconceptions Abound
As in, it’s not cool. Or attractive. Or interesting.
I saw a friend this last month who I hadn’t seen in a year or so. He’d read about my project on the blog and had some questions. Here’s the first thing he said to me:
“So, I guess this is one of the outfits?”
Yep.
“Huh. Well, that’s not so bad.”
He’s one of those lovely blunt...
#9 "I Have Nothing to Wear" Means "I Have Too Much...
You know you’ve said it.
Standing there in the closet, arms crossed, pursed lips, frustration steaming out your ears, you sigh. You flick a shirt or two with your index finger, shift your weight from your left to right leg. You’ve been in this closet for twenty minutes. You glance out at your bed, covered in clothes, possible pairings strewn like pizza toppings across the covers. No...
#10 Less Clothing Means Less Thinking about...
Over the course of this project I can’t say I haven’t thought about clothes—I’m writing a book about them, you know—but I can say that I hardly ever thought about the clothes I was wearing. And that—days on end with no outfit regrets, no second guesses, no constant tugging—that was a revelation.
Before all this, I thought about my clothes a lot. Too...
“I think it’s every girl’s dream to walk in a Victoria’s Secret Fashion...”
– #11 This is not true.
Since beginning this project I’ve been overwhelmed by the warm response from so many people, many of whom I’ve never met. It seems a lot of people think modesty is important.
I saw this quote the other day. It’s real. One of the models in the...
#12 What you wear influences the way you're...
I have plenty of my own examples but I thought maybe you’d prefer to hear it from someone else.
Check out this fascinating article about the Oregon Ducks and how attention-grabbing uniforms have rocketed them to the top ranks of college football:
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6909937/how-does-oregon-football-keep-winning
#13 Fewer Clothes Does Not Equal More Laundry
Every time I discuss this project with friends, associates, randoms one of the first questions I get is “Are you swamped with laundry?”
I suppose people assume I’m doing laundry more often because I have less to wear. I’m not. I’m doing the same number of loads per week as I always have.
When I have a bigger wardrobe, more clothes to pile up in the corners of my...
#14 Modesty is Liberating
I’ve written about it before, but it’s worth saying again: Modesty makes me feel free. I can bend over. I can play with my kids on the floor. I can walk outside on a windy day without having to hold my clothes in place.
I never ever have to worry about what I might be accidentally revealing.
Do you know how good that feels?
It enables the kind of life I’m always trying to...
15 Days to a Change of Clothes
In fifteen days I will officially have completed my year-long experiment in radical modesty (and simplicity). After wearing the same four outfits all year long, I am, dare I say it, in the home stretch! I’m not about to mess up now (although I’m a little handicapped having left one of my outfits in Florida over Christmas).
This week and next I want to share the top fifteen things...
December 2011
4 posts
WatchMerry Christmastime from the Gerhardt girls!
“I have Him, not only what I have room for, but that which I have not room for,...”
– A.B. Simpson
“The problem with love and God, the two of them, is how to say anything about...”
– Charles Baxter in The Feast of Love
"One Upon A Time" and A Real-er World
So, is anybody out there watching Once Upon A Time?
I can’t help thinking this is a terrific riff on The Story, you know God’s story, the fall and redemption of man. We’ve got a curse and a savior and people living in a world far less real and less magical than their home but they’ve forgotten their home, forgotten who they are, forgotten that magic is real. They’ve...
November 2011
17 posts
You are NOT my God.
For the past few weeks Justin’s been preaching on idolatry. Ask anybody at Round Rock and he or she will quickly admit that the series has been a royal pain in the rump. We are all experiencing growing pains. Who knew we were idolaters?
I know now, and you’d better believe I’m making changes.
I found this gem last night as I was reading Galatians. Paul writes:
“Formerly,...
Why I Don't Want to Be a Person Who Reads Her...
I bought a new Bible last night, one of those note-takers ones with the blank page across from the text. I’ve taken quite a fancy to those. They help me read by letting me write. It’s the way I’m wired.
On the ride home from the bookstore I was fantasizing about my new, more disciplined Bible study life and I thought, “I want to be a person who reads through her Bible...
The heart is a dark, sometimes warm, sometimes cold, always mysterious place in which God works unexplainable wonders. I can feel Him in there bumping up against the hard places, wading into the soft spots, tilling, watering, whispering over tiny seeds—Grow!—creating somethings from the nothing dirt of my once-overgrown garden.
Zombies
I have this feeling that The Walking Dead is more real than The Bachelorette or one of those housewife shows on Bravo. It feels real—like news on CNN but less clinical, more devastating, and more accurate.
Am I crazy or do zombies just feel… true?
I watched just one episode of that show. It’s likely all I’ll watch. I’m squeamish and terrified of spiritless flesh.
Still, I feel like that...
Why I Make My Kids Play at the McDonald's...
I make no attempt to defend McDonald’s to its critics. Truth be told, I am a critic. The way they make that weirdly addictive food should be illegal. However, I am a fan of the McDonald’s playplace. Here’s why:
The McDonald’s playground is a microcosm of the world, a place where children from all socioeconomic, religious and racial backgrounds meet. On the McDonald’s playplace my girls encounter...
A Separate Peace
*SPOILER--I will reveal the ending of this book and it is wonderful so don’t do yourself the injustice of reading the post without having read the book. Pinky promise.
I finally read A Separate Peace. I read it in two sittings, racing from page to page. I loved it, was devastated by it.
I sat down just now to write about it, wandering about in my mind, peeking behind doors to figure out...
“Bad clothes do not, as bad words may, slip quickly into the past. They haunt us...”
– John Harvey in Clothes
Do you have a “bad clothes” memory? Surely you do. We all do, right?
Mine, one of mine, goes down in the middle school cafeteria. I’m wearing green, high waisted stovepipe pants with a 3 and half inch black patent leather belt. I look ridiculous. But I feel...
Second Skin
I read an article recently that painted God’s act of clothing man and woman in skins as suggesting something about the relationship of clothes to the self. The author noticed that God chose to give his children not some foreign material, something woven from plants or engineered, but rather a second skin, another layer of flesh. He concluded that perhaps clothes shouldn’t only be looked at...
Maybe the nicest thing my youngest has ever said...
London: Mom, is that you?
Me: Yes, London, it's me.
London: You were stomping. We thought you were a monster.
Eve: (touching my face and smiling) But you're not. You're our Jennifer.
True Love Lasts
A few weeks ago my husband sent me this link—it’s to the story of Norma and Gordon Yeager, the couple (aged 90 and 94) who died holding hands. He also linked this song from The Civil Wars, C’est la mort. He wrote: “I want to die with you.”
I, of course, cried. I want to die with him, too.
Later that night he and I talked about the story which had quickly gone...
#peoplearemeanontwitter #benice
So, apparently Kim Kardashian got a divorce. I found out on Twitter from hundreds of people tweeting jokes and insults hashtagged #thingslongerthankimsmarriage.
I do not like to call people out in blog posts, but today I will make an exception:
I don’t think that was nice.
Making fun of the end of a marriage is a less than loving way to behave—even, perhaps especially, if you...
I'm Reading a Book by and about George W. Bush
Yes, I am reading a book by George W—a man I voted for and initially liked but then also didn’t so much like toward the end. And I’m realizing as I read this book that I still like him. He is insanely likable, even when I crazy disagree with him.
Decision Points, his memoir, is a good book about a pretty regular guy who makes some good decisions (and some bad ones) and sort of...
Book Review: A Year With Jesus
It was the title that got me: A Year With Jesus. Come on, that’s gonna be good. But, upon further review, this book, subtitled “Daily readings and reflections on Jesus’ own words,” turned out to be not much more than a collection of very short daily Bible readings with brief, expected commentary.
I love the gospels, and because of that I can’t exactly dog this book....
My Husband Has Gone Mad (and I'm oh so thankful)
The menu at my house this week…
Friday: Homemade pizza with three salads (arugula, tomato and mozzarella) and squashed raspberries with vanilla mascarpone cream
Saturday: Wonky summer pasta with herb-y salad and pear drop tartlets
Sunday: Ratatouille (squash, eggplant, green pepper, onion, shallots, tomato…)
Monday: Cacio e Pepe with thyme and lemon roasted carrots
Tuesday: Slow...
God's Face
I took my daughters to the nursing home (“nursery” home according to London) across the street from our house last week. I’d been wanting to do it for months, feeling guilty about not doing it. So, finally, we did it. London drew pictures of people (she’s very Tim Burton right now) and Eve drew circles which she told me were fish in the sea. We made six or seven pictures,...
If Hamlet Had To Get Dressed For Church...
To dress up or not to dress up
that is the question
whether tis nobler in the pew to put on
the dresses and slacks of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of posers
And by opposing judge them?
Musing today on whether or not to dress up for church—not quite to be or not be, but still a question up in the air.
I’m not sure whether or not it’s important. What do...
October 2011
24 posts
Food Heaven
I spent today cooking. All day cooking. For thirty minutes I took a break, put my feet on a couch cushion and watched the Gators lose to Georgia. Then, back at the cooking.
Justin and I had asked a friend, an ex-chef and food guy extraordinaire, to walk us through some techniques (making sauces, de-boning chicken, trussing) and, to our delight, he created an all-day cooking menu. We chopped...
“The truth will set you free but first it will make you miserable.”
The Tragedy of Being Too Cool
So, this Friday I skipped down to San Antonio with my new totally delightful friend Karen to check out the Women of Faith conference, a conference just about every woman on earth has attended at some point in the last twenty years.
It’s weird that I go to so many conferences because I am not what you’d call a conference person. Primarily, I don’t socialize with strangers....
“I wanted to be a speaker but I didn’t have anything to speak about.”
– Andy Andrews
I wrote this very sentence (replace “speaker with “writer” and put it in the present tense) in my journal three weeks before my brother died.
I remember talking to Justin about the difficulty of being a Christian writer because, I said, for the Christian,...
God is Little (and Big)
My daughter Eve prayed last night, “God, You are little and big.”
It’s my favorite thing she says to Him, a statement of praise she believes from the top of her white haired head to the bottom of her pudgy toes.
God who smiles in flowers and puppies and children is little, little like Eve.
God, shaper of canyons, painter of skies, protector of the little, is big, big like a...
“An idol is whatever you look at and say, in your heart of hearts, “If I...”
– -Timothy Keller
This week I’m writing about the possibility of worshiping our clothes. No, not necessarily our clothes, perhaps clothes in general, or maybe a brand of clothes. “Brand worship,” after all, springs from the common vernacular beside phrases like “on the altar...
A few months ago we visited a nearby church on a Wednesday night. After class, we picked up the girls who simply could not contain their excitement/fascination/fear after hearing the story of the fall in Genesis 3.
Eve said repeatedly, “That’s a baaaaaad snake.”
In the car on the way home we heard London whispering. Justin leaned back and heard this:
I’m sorry God.
I...
Found this thought about communion scribbled in an old journal:
Communion is a place where we imbibe life, a fill-up.
I often wish we could eat until we were full—it’s tough to find satisfaction in a corner of cracker and a half sip of juice. Why not eat and eat and eat; drink to the cup’s bottom and refill? Why not feel in our bellies what we feel in our hearts? Full.
I Cannot Wear This
I am twelve years old standing in front of my grandfather’s bureau, a messy, change-cluttered wooden dresser topped with a three way mirror. Completely still, I assess myself from the farthest corners of my eyes. Perplexed, angry, and resolute, I tell my mother, “I am not wearing this.”
This is a navy blue sailor dress peppered with tiny gold anchors, its oversized white lapels...